Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
