So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
