I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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