I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
