talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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