just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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