Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
