Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i believe in u and ur pee
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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