my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize