If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
