you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
