Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were trust falling into bushes
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize