Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
