I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
