Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my phone needs a breathalizer
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Randomize
