worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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