She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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