They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
