So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
