She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
