if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
