i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
