I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
