If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
