I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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