Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
