mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
