? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
