did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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