his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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