He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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