tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
