I'm lost and stupid without you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
