singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
