the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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