oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
