I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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