Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
