he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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