if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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