what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize