Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
