So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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