we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
