The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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