my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize