There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
