We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
