dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
