i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
