I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize