dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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