youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
