just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
