If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
