we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
