That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
