one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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