so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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